da | A visitor, part 342

The problem with planning to wall off the underside of one's porch, our porch, is the reality that 6-8 inches of headroom on top of rough uneven rocks and dirt isn't particularly helpful. Especially if the leading reason for doing this is to block a digging mammal who can get into small spaces. And my last two weeks have been somewhat occupied.

My state of mind was not great at 2:30 this morning, having been woken up at 1am, then at 2am, the second time by telltale skunk, who had come back home in a stinking... stink.

There is a lot of conflicting information on the net about how to scare off a skunk. The least foolish of this advice seemed to me to be "don't try."

The second least foolish was to introduce moth-balls or clothing soaked with ammonia. Only we didn't have either. So I drove to the 24-hour grocery store and picked up ammonia, and the means for making alkaline hydrogen peroxide, which is supposed to be the only really effective deodorizer. I swear the employees thought I was making a bomb. 4 bottles of peroxide, one box of baking soda, one gallon of ammonia. The two guys in line behind me stopped talking about trucks and women long enough to swear about how it suddenly smelled like skunk.

3am, behind the house. Right, hi skunk, said the guy with the flashlight. You're not going to spray me, are you? I'll just stay down here and maybe the light will scare you away? Nope, it just hissed and went around the corner under the porch where I couldn't see. So I lobbed a few shirts soaked with ammonia under the porch (tied to string so I can remove them) and went to bed.

In the light of day, I'm glad I didn't try more last night. I still can't figure out how to wall off under there, unless it's with about 30 feet of wire mesh cut, stapled, and crimped to fit, which given the uneven ground, sounds damn painful to install. Does that make me a wuss?

Also, either it needs a one-way door for skunk escapes at their own convenience, or being totally sure all of them are out before the last part gets tacked up (so, 9 or 10pm; and guesswork, because I can't see around the corner where it/they are living).

All of this is preamble to saying that AAA Wildlife Control is coming at lunchtime today.

[Edit to add: They came, they went. They can't do anything permanent until the ground is soft. But they can live-trap the skunk for... $500. With no guarantee there won't be another one along in a few weeks.

We've opened all the windows, we're going out for a few hours, and maybe I'll try calling around for cheaper trapping options.]