Mambo Taxi

I went to the optometrist for the first regular checkup in many years. They did the pupil dilation thing, which was sort of annoying and now I remember how much I didn't like it the last time. I probably should have used the cheap sunglasses they gave me, but I didn't. On an overcast day, on the walk back to the office, the white lines on the road were blinding me. Yeesh. My pupils looked, and still look, like an animé character's.

Night fell shortly after I got back to the office, which was convenient. And from then until now, everything is brighter than I expect, and point-source lights have pretty auras around them.

I walked roverthedog through the big park, which has been decked out in Christmas lights.

Wow. Pretty. Very pretty.

The strings of lights in the trees each looked like thick cables, bright but not quite painfully bright. Again with the pretty auras. If I could have turned off the streetlights, it would have been perfect.

I'm not sure I would recommend this as a way to get into the Christmas spirit, but hey, as long as I've got weird vision, might as well take advantage of the few unexpected benefits.

I just went to the going-away reception for a colleague of dan's, a man of many talents who is moving west to become a CTO at another University. There were hors d'oeuvre, wine, cheese. And there were many speeches; some entirely professional and largely boring, some more heartfelt messages with personal touches. But you could tell this man will be missed for his even-keeled and wise service to the University.

And so, walking Rover just now, I was trying to determine exactly what I was feeling in response. I thought, for a while, that it was sort of a proxy pride-mixed-with-loyalty; watching all of these people who'd been working together for decades, showing honour to one of their beloved colleagues.

I'd be feeling it by proxy because of course it's second-hand imagining of their pride and loyalty, recognizing their depth of connections over the decades. And while I do feel loyalty to the University (as an excellent employer, as a source of social and societal good, as somewhere I hope to work for a long time) it's not anywhere near the loyalty of someone who had given it his all, for multiple decades, in a career he'd spent his entire life in.

So, I figured this proxy feeling was best personally described as "inspiration". And that was OK.

But you know, that's not quite it. As I watched Rover run in the school-yard I realized something else was more true. What struck me, hearing these profs pay their respects, was a personal profound sense of getting older.

Not in a negative sense, at all. Or, yes, but not only. Realizing it's the way of things. You spend your time on earth in whatever you're going to do; and possibly you pay attention and get better at things (and possibly the things you're better at, manage to find you). And perhaps you are recognized for the things you do, or perhaps you just know, yourself, and that's OK. And maybe if you're very lucky, it makes a great story; or maybe it seems dull.

But it's your life, every step, and you wouldn't be here if you hadn't been there first. And the you, now, can see a lot further because of it. And it's like seeing a photo of yourself from a decade ago with that hair and clothes and realizing shit, I really thought that would look good on me? And like listening to a Quaker friend's twelve-year-old go on about how much he loves watching The Wizard of Oz over and over, and as he gesticulates wildly with his hands, keeping the Cheshire grin to yourself (and thanking God for his parents not being bigots). And it's like recognizing to yourself the dues you've paid, ultimately OK with them even if they were crazy over-priced stupid dues.

And maybe, looking honestly and lovingly at the you-of-half-your-lifespan-ago and whether, if the two of you met, younger-you would laugh out loud in surprise (and maybe awe) at the you-of-now. And you're mostly looking forward to discovering the you-of-the-same-timespan in the future. Shit, he really thought that was a good idea then, didn't he? By God, yes, I do. And you'll please be keeping that smirk to yourself, future-me?

And maybe they won't throw a party with canapés and the University President, which is probably better off if they don't; and maybe actually the worst is yet to come. But maybe you get to use that as a stepping-off point to something even better than you'd ever imagine from here, the you-of-now who is getting older and paying attention and being open to the chance that the best is yet to come.

I just left a backpack full of office supplies in my department's supply closet.

A ream of legal paper, a box of maroon presentation folders, and quite a lot of magic tape.

In 1997, I went on an office-supply rampage when my company won a contract with the US Department of Education. (Enough said? I think so.)

Except to add: my closet is that much emptier, and I am that much happier.

(*) If there's anybody local who needs legal paper, a box of maroon presentation folders, or rolls of magic tape I might be able to hook you up.

This is a meme where you ask about people's Interests (from their LJ profile). Comment on this post, and I'll pick six of yours, and you explain them on a post you make. Then you post this on your journal and it becomes a never ending spiral... and good fun.

chickenfeet2003 asked me about:

zeppelins

Airships have always fascinated me; partly of course for the romance, and also for their appearance of luxury and adventure as opposed to speedy travel. I remember that I added them to my interests list this spring after my IRC channel discussed what a wide-travelling bunch we were; someone said maybe we need a private jet and I briefly googled the option of private zeppelin rental (and would that not be awesome?)

spamassassin, kwiki

I appreciate well-written software tools. These are a pair of perl-based tools that do a remarkable job at difficult tasks: the first, identifying spam on my mail-server. (since I've used the same email address for over a decade, my main address receives over 700 spam a day. On a bad day, I'll see 20 in my inbox. That's still too many, I need to tweak the rules-sets). Kwiki provides a Wiki (like wikipedia) but with a very clean user-interface and developer hooks (at least for the version I prefer, 0.18; newer versions unfortunately have a more complicated developer interface).

dim sum

Pan-fried turnip cake, steamed octopus in curry sauce, broccoli greens with oyster sauce, and steamed shrimp dumplings. MMmmmmmMMM. My first dim sum experience was on a visit to Seattle, and while I enjoyed the experience, it wasn't until d&I discovered the local dim sum place that dim sum became one of my favourite brunch restaurants. The reason? They give you a menu to check off your choices, instead of getting the luck of the draw with the carts; and the food is very high quality.

cheapass games

A board- and card- games company that publishes $5 packets instead of $60 games. They work on the philosophy that game players probably have all the dice, counters, and play money they will need. One of my favourites is "Falling", a real-time game that supposes that all of the players are thousands of feet in the air (Why? Who cares?) and they are falling to the ground. The last person to go splat wins (Wins what? not very much. But it's fast, and quite fun). Another excellent game is "Kill Doctor Lucky" which is much like Clue, but ends with a murder, instead of starting there. "Doctor Lucky" has gone through revisions and is now a gorgeous board-game that costs much more than $5.

carcassonne

A strategy board game where you lay out the map as the game progresses. I like the balance in the game, between quick resource-grabs and long-term plays. Unfortunately, we bought a few expansion sets and the game became too slow, and we haven't gotten around to splitting out the basic set again. But I enjoyed it a lot when we played it, and it reminds me of good times with our friends lee_ellen and flydi in Ithaca.

Sunday was... hilly. I didn't get enough sleep, by a long shot- I was too excited to sleep until exhaustion hit me over the head after 1; I was up at 7:30 as usual.

In the morning, we checked out of the B&B, which was preparing for a 3-day visit from Time Magazine, who are doing a spread on EcoVillage. My parents drove into town for Unitarian services. I drove the other way up the hill to Quaker Meeting, in the hundred-year-old Quaker Meeting House out in the country. It's a wonderful old building, conducive to a very deep quiet Meeting. The windows have a wonderful wavy texture, and the trees outside are usually the loudest sound you can hear, aside from the occasional bench creaking and a car on the road. The building smells like well-oiled antique wood. And I think it will always feel like a home to me.

At the rise of Meeting I explained why I was visiting this weekend- and asked that people keep us in their thoughts as my parents try to make the best decision, and as I try to not be impatient or influence their decision toward what I'd like them to do. Afterward, I spoke with a number of retired people who wanted to say how happy they were to end up in Ithaca- including two who are tree-farmers like my dad. I wish he could've met them on this visit.

Lunch was with my parents at a friend's house in EcoVillage- Graham has a neat straw-bale house, which is somewhat similar in design to what my parents were aiming for when they built their house 25 years ago. But Graham had the benefit of an entire community of crafts-people to help build it. We talked about co-housing and its plusses and minuses, and marvelled at her garden. She's got a single cherry-tomato bush that was easily the size of 5 regular tomato bushes. They pick two quarts of cherry tomatoes a day. It's apparently all in the compost.

lee_ellen came by, and we all sat and talked. Eventually my parents left, I stayed for another bit and reluctantly got on the road. A few parts of the drive were fun. I listened to four hours of podcasts, and I made great time once I was finished with Hamilton. Also, I had a good visit behind me, which sustained my spirits. But the border and the hour on either side were just a drag. I was so glad to get home, see melted_snowball and roverthedog, and wake up in my own bed.