Search for Quality

[da]

A recent conversation has had me thinking about two somewhat complementary and somewhat contradictory life philosophies concerning "quality"- by which I (think I) mean, things that are best-fit for your needs and desires.

The first philosophy:

Life is change; happiness is more about accommodation and compromise than railing against things you can't change. As such, quality is not only subjective, it's meant to change according to the environment (so no point pining for a steak at a vegetarian restaurant, say). Try for the best outcome but expect average, and allow for the worst. Quality is elusive- great experiences are rare. Be grateful for high-quality things and be reasonably happy with medium-quality. Learn to avoid low-quality.

The second philosophy:

Life is change; to be happy, stay on top of the change and try to manipulate the environment to be comfortable in it. Quality is subjective, but relatively constant over time. Try for the best outcome; expect the best, allow for the worst, but don't be happy with less than high quality. Learn to avoid low and medium quality; high quality is worth the effort. Life is short enough that you don't want to waste time with less.

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I can see the merits of each; neither seems a foolish strategy for maximizing happiness.

If the second person is adept at finding high quality, they could easily end up happier overall. But realistically, how much time do they spend being unhappy with the non-ideal environment?

And the first person would say they are happy, and it seems to me that they would be. Except they're not exactly maximizing their choices for their definition of quality, they're making do more often. And it would be a non-optimal match even if they allow it to shift over time. (Especially so- their current life might match up, but looking back might make them unhappy about where they had been!)

Hm. As happiness-seeking creatures, should we all be trying to be #1, #2, both, neither?

Comments

[da-lj.livejournal.com]

You've gotten at many of the same thought-processes I've been thinking about- from an interestingly different perspective, so thanks! I totally get what you mean about changes over time- but I'm curious about contentedness versus happiness- it's something I hadn't been thinking about at all- I wonder if that might be a cyclic ebb/flow sort of change, involving less or more driven-ness as, say, you decide different things make you happy...

On "saying goodbye" to parts of one's life: I'll self-disclose a bit more and say that I find myself acting like #1 more than #2, and wondering what sorts of things are keeping me from asserting myself against my environment- such as dropping projects that aren't fulfilling or required.

For me it seems to come down in some cases to not having a strong opinion on the subject; which is fine. Other times perhaps I have a strong sense of sentimentality, or misplaced "loyalty" to the idea/project, or general non-assertiveness if it involves someone else's happiness too.

I don't think I need to be less sentimental or loyal, but I'm taking an assertive communication class for a reason. ;)

All of this is present for me as I'm trying to figure out what sort of path I want to set for myself (versus the ones I already see and am already following)!